Best Phone Blog

We like nothing more than a few lazy stereotypes here (lazy, fat, bearded, sweaty bloggers that we are), so that’s just what we’re going to throw your way today.

Fat lazy stereotype # 1 – Everyone who uses pay-as-you-go phones is poor, young and annoying. Like to sit at the back of the bus, somehow simultaneously chewing gum and making out with equally spotty friends while simultaneously texting while simultaneously shouting abuse at someone from your school out of the bus window? Then clearly you are a pay-as-you-goer.

Overweight bearded stereotype # 2 – Everyone who uses a Blackberry is a despicable, soulless, work hungry capitalist pig. Wear a suit to work every day? Have high blood pressure? Cheat on your wife with a secretary or two? Played your part in bringing the country and the world to its knees by playing with our money? Then you are one of those ‘This message was sent via a Blackberry device’ chumps who are destroying the world around us.

Admit it: you agree.

But now, thanks to the Blackberry Curve 8520, these two stereotypes are going to be brought crashing together in some kind of weird implosion that’s either going to be utterly terrible, or utterly good. Because the Blackberry Curve 8520 is the first Blackberry that’s going to be in anyway affordable for those of you who like to pay as you go about your greasy-faced business.

See this Blackberry 8520 review, or have a look at these Blackberry 8520 deals for more reasons as to exactly why this is going to happen. But trust us: something strange is about to happen.

Like dogs, certain phones suit certain people. Some people like, want and thoroughly deserve those little bag-sized yappy rat dogs that inspire in others (like, say, us) nothing more than a desire to strap on a pair of stomping boots and get dirty in rat-dog guts.

Now, don’t get us wrong, the LG BL40 Chocolate is not going to be attracting the kind of terrible attention that certain tiny dogs attract round these parts as they ride around in the expensive leather bags of ladies made of plastic and perfume. But we do think the BL40 is going to find its way into, well, lots of perfumed and expensive bags. Because more than its a touch-screen-phone, more than it’s a smart-phone, more than it’s a widescreen-phone. We certainly don’t think there’s going to be many, say, white van men flocking over these LG BL40 Chocolate deals, or these LG BL40 Chocolate deals.

It’s actually got a lot going for it, lots that’s practical, useful, up-to-date, even pretty special. The 21:9 panoramic ratio screen, for example, is an absolute winner, letting you take in the full width of web pages as you search the web. But we just have a sneaking suspicion that the kind of pages these things will be surfing probably won’t be youtube or The Sun’s online version. More likely Vogue and those sites that sell really expensive leather handbags.

Like those kind of sites? Then have a little look at this LG BL40 review. Or at this hurt-your-eyes-swanky video. Don’t say we didn’t warn you…

As the middle of summer approaches we thought that we would compile a list of the hottest handsets on the planet right now and then tell you the cheapest contract that you can get them on. We opted for the middle ground of an 18 month contract on all handsets, although you can save even more by going for 24 or even 36 month deals, although we have no idea why anyone would want to commit for that long! So here is what we found
1) Nokia N97 deals – The hottest Nokia handset on the planet right now, we’re not sure that there is anything that it can’t do. It is a little pricey at £40.00 per month, but for that you are getting 800 minutes and unlimited texts on T-Mobile and let’s face it, a phone like this deserves a big monthly allowance.
2) Nokia 5530 deals – If you don’t want the QWERTY keyboard and want to pay about half the price of the N97, then the Nokia 5530 is the one for you. Just over £20.00 gets you a wopping 600 minutes and unlimited text messages on Vodafone. You also get the added bonus of an Xpressmusic subscription for unlimited download of tracks.
3) Sony W995 deals – Sony Ericsson have produced a superb phone here, although the camera does not quite live up to the one on the C905 (no more LED flashes please). However the music functionality is excellent. You can get the W995 for £21.00 per month with 400 minutes and 500 texts on Orange.
4) HTC Hero deals – The best Android phone out there and a true iPhone rival in our opinion. The ting is with HTC is that you always know there is something better just around the corner. However until that is made known you can get the Hero for £31.00 per month on Vodafone with the ever popular 600 minutes and unlimited texts.
5) Samsung Jet deals – Another Android phone and one that hasn’t received the marketing push it truly deserves. We love this handset and with the ever increasing amount of Android Apps available we reckon it is well worth spot number 5. 400 minutes and 3000 texts on Orange for £21.20 per month is a bargain as well.
6) Blackberry 8520 deals – The latest Blackberry to hit the shelves sticks to its well known looks and design. You know what they say, if it aint broke, don’t try and fix it and this is exactly what Blackberry have done. Our pick is the O2 deal with 600 minutes and 500 texts with £170 automatic cashback for £35.00 per month.
7) HTC touch diamond 2 deals – A very much improved version of the original touch diamond, the interface is much more user friendly and it looks great too. O2 win the day here, offering 400 minutes and 500 texts for under £30.00
Samsung Pixon 12 deals – For the serious mobile phone user, the Pixon 12 sports a much better camera than the original handset, but you are looking at a £40.00 per month deal with 900 minutes and unlimited texts.
I’m sure we have missed some great phones out and if you find a deal that you think should be on here, let us know in the comments section and we will let everyone know.

As though in some kind of Karmic re-aligning effort, watchphones seem to the be one of the things that mobile phone manufacturers are concentrating their efforts on at the moment. First we had the LG GD910 announced as hitting our shelves next month. And, obscenely expensive as it is, it looks pretty damn lovely. Now Samsung have slipped in there with their own effort, cheekily doing so with a release date that’s even earlier than the LG, and a price tag that’s less than half. Ouch. And the Samsung S9110 still seems like a stonker, with it’s TFT capacitive touchscreen, it’s Bluetooth and Outlook connectivity, and in many other things that this Samsung S9110 review will tell you about.

So, why Karmic, you ask? Well, we don’t think we’re going to be alone in claiming this, but: we haven’t worn a watch in over ten years, and pretty much the sole reason is because of mobile phones. Why, when you can carry a date/time/calendar sporting thing in your pocket, would you then also want to splash out for something to give you date/time (and nothing else) that you then strap to your wrist? Unless you really need those few accumulative seconds you’ll save each day by looking at it… So, after probably hitting the watch market all over the place for the last decade or so, it seems only fair that things like the Samsung S9110 start to bring back some love for the watch, right?

But, what’s that you say? This doesn’t make any difference at all, because the watchmakers still won’t be making any profit? And the mobile phone manufacturers will just be making even more profit.

Ah. Right. Yeah. Good point.

Oh well, sod it: line their pockets, go look at these Samsung S9110 deals. It’s not like they’re going to get any poorer.

There are, according to our scientific observations on the local buses round this way, two types of young person these days. Group A, as we shall call them, like to play terrible, terrible music on their phone speakers in some kind of weird throwback to the days when kids had ghetto-blasters. The thing about the ghetto-blaster days, though, was that firstly, the music was good, secondly it actually sounded good because ghetto-blasters were huge things designed solely for playing music, not tiny thing designed mostly for making phonecalls. So it’s with dread that we blog about phone’s like the Nokia 5800 with its extra loud, extra bass, extra music blah blah blah, because we know Group A is going to be blaring out some terrible choons on it as soon as it’s released.

Group B, on the other hand, will get very excited about the forthcoming release of the Nokia 6760 slide. Because this has all the elements that make them tick together in one phone-like thing. Again, it’s very unlikely they’ll care all that much about the handsets ability to make actual calls, but they’ll be flocking to 6760 deals once they know about it’s large QWERTY keyboard and the apps and software on it that allow fast and easy access to all the Twittering and Facebooking and emailing that gets these more quiet, but equally as disturbing group excited. Because it’s group B that are the ones that skulk around with their heads permanently on a screen of some sort, sniggering occasionally as they look up and exchange eye contact with someone 3 metres from them who’s just sent an instant message to them. Oh yes, the 6760 is going to make group B very happy indeed. Check out this Nokia 6760 slide review if all this proof isn’t as damning as it should be for you.

Like most of the videos they make for themselves, Nokia’s effort for the Nokia 3720 Classic is pretty amusing in its innocence and, well, banality. Because although they prove their point very well – that the Nokia 3720 is about as tough a phone as you can possibly buy – they do so in this whimsical, almost surreal way that would actually wind us up if the phone wasn’t so impressively hard.

Because we all know that normal people only break there phones in one of two ways:

1 – Drunkness. Clearly the biggest cause of phone death man has ever known. From waking up to find your phone inexplicably floating in a glass of rum (check), to realising you dropped it down the toilet while drunkenly expelling stuff (check) to betting a friend you could hit another friend in the head with your phone from a distance of 30 metres (check)…

2 – Clumsiness. Can’t drink tea without spilling some all over your desk? Stub your toes at least once a week? Fall over inexplicably every now and then? Sit on, tread on, crush, drop or otherwise bully your phone? Then you, sir/madam, are a Clumsy Clive/Claire

Or, sometimes (for us all to often) a combination of those two ways. But you know what, this phone can withstand even the most inane, drunken, awkward, stupid, embarassing tumble you might take. It could have withstood that time when you might, hypothetically, have gotten into the shower with all your clothes on to sober up. Or the time you fell into the hotel pool. Or that other time you fell into a different hotel’s pool. Or that…

Admit it… your interested, aren’t you… then click here for the official page’s stats lowdown, or have a look at this Nokia 3720 classic review.

Wouldn’t it be funny, right, if you went into a T-Mobile shop and said “hello shopkeep, I would like to purchase on this find day today something I read about on the interweb. It’s a phone, a cracking if somewhat ugly Google Android phone called the HTC Hero. That’s right, spotty young sir, the HTC Hero. Apparently it’s all very modern and efficient in connecting you to said interweb whilst also being able to fit into your hand, being as it is a mobile phone communication device. Now what, sniggering urchin, do you say to my request. Hmm?”

And then the acne-ridden tool would mumble something about the HTC Hero actually being re-branded as the T-Mobile G2 Touch for it’s release on T-Mobile. That is was exactly the same phone, but T-Mobile had just given it a different name. “But I want the HTC Hero, see, look here, I printed out the thing here, on this sheet right here, look at this, if you can read, you miserable buffoon – the HTC Hero it says, several times in fact. This is the phone I would like to purchase today. I have cash. Plenty of it too. More than you probably earn in a week you giggling piece of grease.”

And the admonished clerk might try and explain again that the T-Mobile Touch was exactly the same phone. Exactly. That the HTC Hero just isn’t called the HTC Hero on T-Mobile. Then he might even pull up this T-Mobile G2 Touch review on his screen to prove it. Or show the gentleman the official page, then the same page for the HTC Hero and show how all the specs and stats lined up. But then the gent would demand, would absolutely insist that he wanted the HTC Hero… and it would be hilarious.

Right? Wouldn’t it? Ahh, balls to you. It’s comedy gold and you know it. If only the cast of Monty Python were still around, they’d be up for it…

Hello, Mr Sony Ericsson! Welcome to the present! A time or joy and happiness that we’ve all been living in for quite some time now, but to which you have arrived annoyingly late.

Yes, verily it is true: Sony Ericsson have finally given up with their frankly offensive insistence on proprietary technologies. For the lexicon challenged out there, proprietary technologies are things that are owned/used exclusively by the companies that make them. This has meant that in all recent Sony Ericsson smartphones, you can only use memory cards made by them, and can only plug headphones in made by them. And, not surprisingly, most of you (like us) found that really ****ing annoying. Not so with the Sony Ericsson Xperia X3 though, which comes with the ability to plug in the standard (and cheap) microSD card to expand its memory, and which also features a lovely 3.5mm jack socket for your favourite ear-bleeding headphones. Hurrah, Mr Ericsson, it’s nice to welcome you here indeed. The Sony Ericsson xperia X3 is also a mighty fine phone in just about every other respect too, as it’s also the first SE phone to boast Google’s Android operating system. Double hurrah indeed, as operating platforms simply don’t get any better than this.

So keep your eyes peeled, as the X3 is going to be big… well, with its 4-inch screen it’s already big… but you know what we mean. In the meantime, have a little look at this Sony Ericsson Xperia X3 review, at these Sony Ericsson Xperia X3 deals, or just sit back and watch the beauty that is (at least a concept of) the User Interface.

The phrase mutton dressed as lamb springs to mind when we look at the LG GW300. Because, as you’ll hopefully agree, it looks like a pretty decent smartphone. What with it’s curvy Blackberry style, that solid looking QWERTY keyboard, that nice 2.4” screen. But the truth is, this is just about as basic a phone as you could possibly buy (when it’s released later this year that is). There’s no Wifi, no GPS. You won’t find 3G even. And it hasn’t even heard of accelerometers.

The only thing of any interest then is that keyboard and, unsurprisingly, the price, which is going to be very low indeed. Which, according to GSM Arena and others, means that this is very firmly a phone directed towards da yoof. And then when you hear that this thing comes installed with various gadgets that let you update your Facebook or Twitter very quickly indeed, you let out a big aaahhhhh, and either stop reading, because you are not a yoof, or get very excited, because you are a yoof. So… still here? Then hello to you little yoof… shld we spk 2 u in ur own lngwj?

Actually, let’s not, it hurts our eyes. And our principles. Let’s just point you towards this LG GW300 review instead. Because it says more about the LG GW300 than we can find the energy to. Now what time is Grumpy Old Men on tonight…?

Size isn’t everything. Honestly. It really isn’t. Which isn’t an argument we’ve tried to make in the work place for a while now (not since that pesky court case), but it’s one we’re happy to make today. Because the iPhone is just too big, right? Cue shocked glances, whispers and lots of other false sentiments… but we just don’t care what you think, we think the iPhone is just too darn big and we’re not going to here otherwise from anyone.

A phone is something that belongs in the pocket, or that can be slid into a nice little section in a bag or even a purse if need be. The iPhone is something people tend to cradle like a delicate baby, moving it from table-top to desk-surface, stroking it ever fine minutes to make sure it’s okay. If you suggested to an iPhone user that they put their precious baby away, they’d look at you as though you’d suggested some kind of Austrian dungeon scenario. And it’s just not for us. Which is why phones like the O2 XDA Ignito make us happy. Because it does just about everything the iPhone does, but in a much smaller, thinner, lighter package. Fair enough, its screen size is smaller, but then it packs in such an amazing number of pixels that you don’t notice at all. Fair enough it’s running Windows Mobile… and there’s not really a come-back to that because Win Mo has its faults. But we still can’t help but love the O2 Ignito. Enough to point you towards this O2 XDA Ignito review in fact. And even to O2’s official page. Because if its smartphoning you want, and smartphoning that fits in your pocket, then it don’t come much better that this.